Feeling Good from the Blindside

I just finished watching The Blindside and the one word that came to mind as the ending credits rolled was "wow." Knowing that the movie is based on a true story makes it even more amazing. Watching this movie and witnessing how one woman changed a boy's life so drastically can make nearly anyone feel good and want to do good. I know it sounds kind of sappy but I don't know how else to describe it. I wonder what would have happened to Michael Oher if Leigh Anne Tuohy and her family never took him in. No one else paid much attention to him even though he was hard to miss. This makes me wonder how many people like Michael Oher fall through the cracks of the foster system? How many children have potential and want to do something with their lives but never have anyone to care for them and guide them in the right direction? It's really disheartening to think about it but that's the reality of the situation. I'm sure hundreds of children never get the chance to reach their potential because they were unfortunate to be born to parents who can't even take care of themselves. And then many of them get placed with foster parents who are just in it for the government money. I've never really been the kind of person to think about these things. I'm more like the person who can read a sad story in the newspaper and think to myself how horrible that is and feel bad for a moment but then  flip to the next page and never look back. But this movie made me think. And maybe that's the purpose it served for many people who saw it. Many people who are like me and need to see a portrayal of one of those sad stories to really feel the impact of it. And on the other hand maybe we need to see the actions of a kind hearted person like Leigh Anne who took it upon herself to change a young man's life and give him the family  he's never had. Seeing how someone can open her heart up so much to a stranger can make you wonder what you can do. It makes me wonder what I can do. What the Tuohy family did was extreme and is not realistic for most people. But there are smaller things that people can do. Whether it's through charity, volunteer work or pursuing and becoming dedicated to a career that allows you to help people. And while I'm still finding myself I have added another item to my list. Finding some way that I can make a difference. Maybe I should have pursued a career as  a teacher. It must be amazing be an amazing feeling to know that you were that one teacher that made a difference in a student's life that he or she will never forget. But either way I do feel inspired by this movie to try and find my way to do something good. So maybe The Blindside isn't just purely entertainment. Maybe it can inspire everyone to try and find a way to their part. 

Forever Loyal to South Park

Last night I enjoyed the latest episode of South Park. This morning I found out that certain people did not enjoy it as much as I did. In fact they hated it so much that they threatened violence on Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of the amazingly genius South Park. So who are these people that would publicly demand the death of two men who didn't set out to harm anyone? No surprise here. They belong to a group of radical Muslims called Revolution Muslim. A post by Abu Talhah Al-Amrikee  on the group's website threatened the writers with the same fate that met the Dutch filmmaker, Theo Van Gogh. He was fatally shot in Amsterdam in 2004. His crime? Creating a short film that criticized the way Islamic society treats women.  But wait, I take back what I wrote before. This group did not issue a threat.  Al-Amrikee wrote, "This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them." Oh sure it's just a mere warning. So I guess this is supposed to make the writers feel more secure? Yeah, right. All this outrage is over the depiction of the prophet Muhammad in a 2 part episode of South Park. Well not really a depiction since apparently Comedy Central banned Parker and Stone from depicting Muhammad in the show. So part 1 of the show featured Muhammad in a bear suit but  part 2 didn't even show that much. All we got to see was the word  "CENSOR". Even the mere mention of the prophet's name was bleeped out. As was a whole speech by the one of the characters, which by the way, I am dying to hear. I think an uncensored version should be released somewhere. Which brings me to my point. Why does an American show have to censor itself because of a radical religious group that doesn't like the content of the episode? People this is AMERICA! We have the right to free speech. Our writers have the right to channel their creativity without fearing death. We don't place restrictions on art because we're afraid it will offend a certain group. Well apparently we do now. At least when it comes to anything that to do with Islam. Hell, our president won't even call terrorists what they are and can't even bring himself to admit that we are fighting a war on terror with Muslim extremists. (On a side note, who's willing to bet that Obama will inevitably apologize for South Park's "offense?" He's already apologized to everyone for America's "offenses.") I remember one New York City artist created a painting of Jesus or the Virgin Mary (I can't remember which one exactly) covered  in feces. Sure some Christians were upset but they didn't call for violence. We didn't have riots in the streets. That artist wasn't killed for his art.
 Besides the point that this kind of censorship goes against the beliefs our country was founded on, people need to understand what kind of show South Park is. South Park makes fun of EVERYONE!!!!!  Not one group can escape this. And guess what? No other group has threatened violence against the writers. Because while South Park does generate intelligent social commentary it is still a cartoon. Who gets upset over a cartoon? South Park has made fun of my religion many time and I laugh it off each time.  Every South Park episode is based on some aspect of society. The censored episode was just satire of the riots that occurred in Europe after a cartoon depicted Muhammad's image. And speaking of Europe, let's not turn into them. Let's not bend over backwards and change our beliefs just so we don't offend extremists. Back in 2007 a report by the U.K. Department for Education and Skills stated that schools in England were dropping the lessons about the Holocaust to avoid offending Muslim students were taught to deny the Holocaust. Imagine wiping out a crucial chapter in history just because one group does not agree with it. In 2009 I read that Britain denied entry for a controversial Dutch politician, Geert Wilders. The article mentioned banning entry for someone was extremely rare for the British government but the reason they chose to do so in that case was because this particular Dutchman created a short film that blamed Islam for terrorist crimes by Muslim fanatics. He placed images of the crimes side by side with passages from the Koran and or speeches by Muslim clerics that justified the crimes. This film was his interpretation of what he saw but it got him banned from entering Britain because the British were afraid of the Muslim extremists who took up residence in their country. 
I truly hope that America is strong enough to withstand bending over backward to appease extremists. (Of course we probably need stronger leadership but that's for another blog) I don't appreciate this group of Muslim extremists threatening American citizens for voicing their opinions. Don't try to impose your totalitarian rules on us. They won't work here. This is not a country run by Islamic views. If you don't like our culture you are more than welcome to leave and go back to a country that abides by your views.  Don't impose your religious views on us. You might not be allowed to depict Muhammad according to your faith but last time I checked the creators of South Park weren't Muslim. They are free to do what they want. 
One last thing I'm left wondering is how did this extremist group know of South Park and its content if Muslim extremist want nothing to do with Western culture. Could it be that they watched the episode? Shocking. 

Tending to a Relationship

We are surrounded by relationship advice. If you subscribe to lifestyle magazines there's a chance there will be a relationship article buried somewhere in those pages. Especially if you're an avid subscriber to  Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire and Glamour magazines like I am.  The internet is also filled with relationship articles. There's always something on Yahoo's, MSN's or AOL's homepages. So before checking my e-mail I'm bound to check those articles out. Now some people might not see the point to all these articles and don't see how they apply to their relationships. But I think that even if you don't take away any specific bits of advice you should still realize, after reading such articles, that relationships take a lot of work. That's why people write these articles. They're basically like instruction manuals. You wouldn't build something without consulting the instruction manual so why would you be in something so complicated as a relationship without having some basic advice? Yes, relationships are extremely complicated. It's almost a paradox. Something that makes you so happy is just so damn hard sometimes. But nothing in life is easy and I think that sometimes the best things are the ones that you work hard for. And relationships need a lot of work. Think of your relationship as a garden. Gardens are beautiful but they take a lot of hard work. Lots of sweat and energy gets poured into maintaining a healthy and beautiful garden. The same is needed with a relationship. You can't just relax and let it take its course thinking that if this is the right person for you then you don't need to put in an effort. Of course you need to put in some effort. As soon you become lax in your relationship your partner will start thinking that you don't care. Because when you care about something you work hard for it. When you want a great looking body you go for it and you work out hard and eat right. When you want a great career you go out and pursue it without giving up. So if you want a great relationship why would you sit back and not do anything? Sure the relationship was perfect for you in the beginning. Everyone feels that way but eventually all relationships get old. But that doesn't mean they can't be good anymore. People just need to stop delusional and think that everything should feel the way it did in the beginning. Once you let go of that notion and realize that those feelings of newness and excitement can't be recreated unless you find someone new, then you can go on and start making what you have even better. For me the small things count. Texting me randomly to tell me that you miss me make me melt. Sending me funny things in an e-mail to cheer me up are greatly appreciated. Surprising me with small gifts like my favorite chocolate would show me that you still care. There are so many little things that you can do to make your relationship better and show your partner that you care. The advice is out there. All you need to do is start paying attention to it. I've always heard that doing good things for other people makes you feel good. And while I've never really considered it before, I understand it now. Doing small things for my boyfriend, whether it's showing up to his house with his favorite drink or sending him a text reminding him that a show he likes to watch is on tonight, really does make me feel better. And it shows a certain thoughtfulness. 
If you don't pay attention to anything else you read on relationships, make sure that you at least remember this. Just like not watering your flowers will cause them to die, neglecting your relationship and forgetting the small things that make the relationship strong and happy will ensure  its end. 

Bus Rides From Hell

So I endured yet another hellish bus ride today courtesy of the MTA. I've realized it's a mistake to take the bus at 3 o'clock in the afternoon and if I could avoid it, trust me I would. You would think the buses in the afternoon would run faster and be emptier since most people are at work. But what a drag it is that school gets out so early. See I can deal with a crowded bus (well sort of; I still curse every minute of it) but there's something about a crowded bus full of teenagers that makes me wish I didn't have to leave my house at all. Before I go on let me just state that I really don't have anything against all teenagers. After all, I was one a few years ago. Though, I do believe that I was quieter and more well behaved when I was out in public. Which brings me to the reason why some of these kids make me dread ever having to raise one. Why are they so damn loud on the bus??? They're young so they shouldn't be going deaf yet but for some reason the ones I'm stuck with on crowded buses feel the need to scream to their friends who are just mere inches away. Of course I always make sure to have my Ipod on but why should I have to set the volume to a deafening level just to block out their mindless talk? Maybe they feel everyone would love to hear their interesting conversations about who hooked up with whom, which teacher sucks the most, or whatever perverted thoughts decide to run through their heads. Oh yeah and did I mention how vulgar these kids get? Okay I know that when I was in high school my conversations weren't always G-rated. It's unrealistic to think that teenagers don't talk about things that adults wish they didn't talk about. But some of them just don't seem to have any shame. In fact they probably think it's cool. (It's funny how you see things differently once you're older) But forget the shame factor. At the very least they should have some sense of courtesy and should know how to conduct themselves in public. That means no yelling across the bus, not blocking people's paths and not shoving each other for fun. There have been plenty of times when some boys felt like roughhousing it  in the bus or at the bus stop. And as someone who's only 5 feet tall I can say it's not fun to have teenage giants fall into you. Seriously, do parents teach their children anything anymore? Oh and something has to be done about those monstrous backpacks. When the bus is crowded to the max it would really helpful if those huge backpacks weren't pushing into people. Just take it off and hold it.  

So all this venting is coming from years of enduring bus rides in these conditions and even worse sometimes. Today I was lucky enough to get a seat, albeit in the back stuck with a group of high school girls who of course had to scream to one another because a few inches is just too much distance between them. Oh and did I mention that in 85 degree weather there didn't seem to be any air conditioning on the bus?

Soon one day I will have my own car and to hell with these bus rides!

An Easy Way Out

The other day I read that Jesse James was entering rehab for sex addiction. Gosh there must be an epidemic going on here! First we have David Duchovny (although with all these new juicy scandals he's probably not someone to remember), then Steve Phillips, the infamous Tiger Woods and now Jesse James. So is sex addiction a real disease or just an easy way out for these sleazy men? While sex addiction may be a real problem like alcohol addiction I feel that these men are using it as an excuse for their disgusting behavior. It's an easy way out for them. They have their fun and once they get caught they claim they have a sex addiction to save their reputations. After all the public might be more willing to forgive a celebrity if he claims he has a sex addiction rather than admitting he just felt like cheating on his wife a bunch of porn stars and strippers. So I think the whole sex addiction excuse is just used to cover up immoral and overindulgent behavior. These guys probably just have over inflated egos and think they can do whatever they want but once they get caught they have to come up with a really good excuse as to why they did what they did. And what's better than claiming that you have an addiction? Maybe I'm wrong but I always felt that having an addiction means you don't have control over yourself. From what I read in the press all those extramarital activities seemed planned.  Here's something I got from medicinenet.com: "Generally, a person with a sex addiction gains little satisfaction from the sexual activity and forms no emotional bond with his or her sex partners." So if Tiger Woods really had a sex addiction would he send sweet text messages to his mistresses? Would Jesse James cuddle with his overly tattooed Neo-Nazi girlfriend? I don't think so. I think that our society has enabled a culture of excuses. People don't take responsibility for their actions.  And while I do understand that addictions are all too real and that there are people who suffer from them, I don't think all these cheaters have sex addictions. They're just jumping on the bandwagon created by the first celebrity who went to rehab to cure his sex addiction. They just need to own up to their mistakes and admit that they cheated because they wanted to. Who do they think they're fooling? Hey at least former Governor Spitzer didn't claim he had a sex addiction!

Love Hurts :/

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've tried not to though because some of those thoughts are ones that I don't want in my head. But they creep in there anyway uninvited. I can sum up what's been plaguing me in two words: Relationships suck. They are wonderful in a way but when they start to unravel it hurts more than anything you've ever felt. And while there might be some red flags that let you know bad things are to come you still feel suckerpunched when you realize that what you were so afraid of has finally come to pass. So yeah, while love is a great thing it can also be a horrible thing. Maybe it should be considered a weapon of mass destruction because when love fails it leaves you feeling like the walking dead. You just exist. You don't live. You go through the daily motions of life without feeling anything but hurt, sadness and anger. You pray for something to come along to distract you from the crushing pain you feel but nothing comes. You try to busy yourself with mindless work but that can't last forever. You can't even bring yourself to talk about it with your friends. Sure they say that talking helps but what happens when just the thought of your failed love causes your stomach to clench in pain? Talking won't make it better. It will just make you feel even more sick to your stomach. So you busy yourself with work and don't discuss the issue. You push the nagging thoughts out of your head for as long as you could. But then there does come a time every day, once if you're lucky but usually it happens more than once, when there is nothing to distract you and the thoughts flood your mind along with a suffocating pressure that sits on your chest and refuses to leave. You're alone with these thoughts. You sit there wondering what should I do? But you already know what to do. It's just that thought of it hurts even more than the pain he's causing. Because while you want this misery to be over, you're afraid of the misery that will come once you're truly alone. It's time to cut the strings but something stops you. Is it love or fear?
Maybe you know what you should because you gave the very same advice to friends in distress in the past. You told them that if he doesn't make you happy and doesn't respect you then they should leave. You told them that they deserve better. They deserve to be loved the way they loved him. But when it comes time to follow your own words of wisdom you find yourself stuck. You don't have the strength to push forward. You keep telling yourself things will get better. You focus on all the good the relationship has brought. But are you being hopeful or are you just being foolish?