Love Hurts :/

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've tried not to though because some of those thoughts are ones that I don't want in my head. But they creep in there anyway uninvited. I can sum up what's been plaguing me in two words: Relationships suck. They are wonderful in a way but when they start to unravel it hurts more than anything you've ever felt. And while there might be some red flags that let you know bad things are to come you still feel suckerpunched when you realize that what you were so afraid of has finally come to pass. So yeah, while love is a great thing it can also be a horrible thing. Maybe it should be considered a weapon of mass destruction because when love fails it leaves you feeling like the walking dead. You just exist. You don't live. You go through the daily motions of life without feeling anything but hurt, sadness and anger. You pray for something to come along to distract you from the crushing pain you feel but nothing comes. You try to busy yourself with mindless work but that can't last forever. You can't even bring yourself to talk about it with your friends. Sure they say that talking helps but what happens when just the thought of your failed love causes your stomach to clench in pain? Talking won't make it better. It will just make you feel even more sick to your stomach. So you busy yourself with work and don't discuss the issue. You push the nagging thoughts out of your head for as long as you could. But then there does come a time every day, once if you're lucky but usually it happens more than once, when there is nothing to distract you and the thoughts flood your mind along with a suffocating pressure that sits on your chest and refuses to leave. You're alone with these thoughts. You sit there wondering what should I do? But you already know what to do. It's just that thought of it hurts even more than the pain he's causing. Because while you want this misery to be over, you're afraid of the misery that will come once you're truly alone. It's time to cut the strings but something stops you. Is it love or fear?
Maybe you know what you should because you gave the very same advice to friends in distress in the past. You told them that if he doesn't make you happy and doesn't respect you then they should leave. You told them that they deserve better. They deserve to be loved the way they loved him. But when it comes time to follow your own words of wisdom you find yourself stuck. You don't have the strength to push forward. You keep telling yourself things will get better. You focus on all the good the relationship has brought. But are you being hopeful or are you just being foolish?